Jamaica- me- crazy… and I want more! Everyting!
The wife and I celebrated 10 years of marital bliss (and not so bliss, it’s me trust me)! We postponed our exact anniversary celebration date to accompany some close friends as they were to exchange their nuptials… wait for it… in Jamaica!!! We’d never been before and we figured it a great way to get a 2-for-1 and build new memories to carry us into our next decade of marriage. 2 hour flight logged, patois practiced, baggage claimed… now let’s see what all the fuss is about.
Upon arriving, we make it to the Couples Resort pick up area where we’re to meet our travel bus. I’m disappointed to find out that it’s nearly a two hour ride to (Negril- the other side of the island) the resort, but I’m overjoyed to find out that our lobby waiting area has complimentary Red Stripe on tap. “Red Stripe on Tap! This sounds promising”, I tell my wife as she gives me her typical “he’s so obnoxious” look. So, about 4, 5… okay maybe 6 Red Stripes in (hey the cups were small), our transport is ready for taxi to the resort. I make a quick run to the loo because last thing I want is for that childlike feeling of being in a vehicle having to “go” and all I can do is beg for the driver to stop as my bladder explodes. Although I have the feeling the driver would just ask me to piss in a cup, at least he looked like the that type. In any event, it’s a beautiful ride around the countryside (you have to go around) in which the driver is quite knowledgable of Jamaican history and has some pretty cool stories. A fellow American headed to our resort had to ask him a question about the herbal remedies Jamaica is known for and the police. The driver illustrates that, “Mon, de only way ya can be arrested ‘ere in Jamaica for weed is if you were fi literally go fi de police station, light de spiff and blow de smoke in police offers faces as dey walk in and out of de precinct. And it that case you were still likely not getting arrested for de weed but rather for being stupid. So don’t be stupid, mon”. Great stuff! Fortunately we stopped half-way to the resort to re-up on adult beverages and a restroom stop. It was great to support some of local merchants that are, I’m sure, connected to the drivers and get a cut for stopping by. Hey, I’m cool with it.
Black Privilege
We get to the resort and our room it’s ready, there’s been some mishap. We bought through Costco Travel (highly recommend BTW) and the room wasn’t available that we purchased. My wife was delighted that we were upgraded to a much bigger room with all the bells and whistles, on the first floor (no stairs or elevators to navigate while late-night intoxicated) and 30 feet from the upscale dinning hall of the resort. Can you say “Jackpot”! This was our first time going to a location where the majority of the people looked like Pam and I (I won’t count Fiji Islands- read my Fiji trip blog). Was this our first ever encounter with… Black Privilege? More hookups were to come.
While getting our morning mimosas and Bloody Mary’s, we notice a consistent theme of the British and American patrons being (at times) rude. I mean so what they’re out of champagne right now, they’ll have more in 4 minutes, no need to yell at the servers and chefs. How about we switch to the Bloody’s? To be on vacation, some of the people seemed rather up tight. For us, “everyting is criss and curry” (hope I said that right). In any event, it didn’t take long for word to spread among the staff that our party of Black Americans were pretty cool people and we tipped handsomely. I couldn’t order a Rum Punch without fear of alcohol poisoning because the cup was 7/8 rum with a splash of punch. I’m a huge fan of full immersion in whatever culture I visit, and I was all too delighted to practice my patois and do my best Ox from Belly impression. The staff got a kick out of it and showcased me around to trick other staff that I was Jamaican. “Waa gwaan, Whap’am” “Ya no tink me no rump”. Staff had a good time laughing at my patois and had to give me credit that I sounded convincing. It was good to hear that my practicing had paid off.